m

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:18:23 GMT

I've lost my everything. I have been lucky enough to spend a year of my life fighting for the most incredible woman I've ever known. I have been lucky enough to spend another year of my life living with her. And now I've spent a year losing her. The brightest, most beautiful light in the universe did more for my life than I could have ever imagined. She changed me. She made me feel worthy. She made me feel beautiful. She made me feel love. She gave me the happiest days of my whole life. The loveliest moments of my 21 years have been spent in the quiet company of her heartbeat. I've never felt a stronger force than the drive to love her.
I've lost my everything. I've forfeited heaven in the name of my own pathetic selfishness. My incessant need for attention and my disgusting lack of courage. I'm weak and I'm careless and maybe I never deserved her in the first place.
I don't know what to do without her. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to look at. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say. I don't know how to do anything without her there to guide me. I don't know how to love anything but her. There is no more light. Nothing has color. Nothing has meaning.
I've never felt regret more than I do right now. I've never had fiercer desire to get back to something I've left behind. Why did I ever leave you behind, baby?
Please, God, bring her back to me.

OMG

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 03:17:38 GMT

DESIGNING WOMEN IS ON NICK AT NITE
GLORIOUS SALVATION
THANKYOU BABY JESUS FOR TAKING
A LITTLE FRESH PRINCE OUT OF MY LIFE

Tue, 03 Oct 2006 23:48:49 GMT

DOWN WITH MYSPACE

Mon, 02 Oct 2006 05:00:36 GMT

the livejournaler in me is full of glee
i have five invitations if anyone wants to join the revolution
YES.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 06:37:34 GMT

hey the world is ending today
hollerrrr

Fri, 12 May 2006 23:33:08 GMT

i'm putting off getting dressed. soooo annoooying, clothing is.
FIRSTS

First best friend: some girl that moved away to houston that i don't really remember except that she always wore an astros t-shirt. and then probably like... nicole george or marissa soto or something weird.
First car: the effing crv, look how long that lasted.
First date: i don't know if i've ever really been on a real date. but, a "date", i remember going on a group date (as in, i didn't want to go by myself so i made all sixteen of my best friends in middle school go with me) to see oh brother where art thou with richard thomas in sixth grade.
First real kiss: i don't want to talk about it. no no. scratch that. andy.
First screen name: probably something gay like strawberriegurl484001 or something. i went through screen names like toilet paper or something.
First funeral: i think my grandpa. i don't remember one before that. and i really don't even remember that. but i remember my grandma giving these people a big big hug and saying how much she's missed them and then i asked who they were, and she leaned over to me and said "No clue". it was funny.
First pets: pearl and terra, dogs, and sneaky snake and scabby, cats.
First piercing/tattoo: ears. only
First credit card: aw hell to the no

LASTS

Last cigarette: yessterdayy...? fucking gross.
Last car ride: like 30 minutes ago.
Last kiss: last night? yes.
Last good cry: i dont know
Last library book checked out: i haven't returned animal farm after two years so they won't let me check books out
Last movie seen: i watched that movie match point the other night. fucking sucked.
Last beverage drank: this frapaccino. its weird i dont drink these, especially not after such a huge lo mein lunch.
Last food consumed: lunch
Last phone call: maaaargaret
Last time showered: just now.
Last shoes worn: flip flops
Last CD played: some mix i found that is rather good
Last item bought: uh. food. where else do my funds go
Last annoyance: dirty bathroom. i'm not sure who's job it is to clean it anymore. i think my mother abandoned all of her previous duties to become a bellydance instructor with a huge advertisement on wheels. fucking weird.
Last disappointment: i dont know. im trying not to find a medium between pessimistic and optimistic and this leaves me not disappointed but confused.
Last time wanting to die: i dont know. really, never. i mean, really really, never.
Last time scolded: probably some teacher today, none of them are particularly fond of me
Last shirt worn: some weird ray one. FUCK dress code i don't know how to do it.
Last website visited: livejournal i guess. ugh, i am annoying
Last word you said: you
Last song you sang: that one travis sang in forever plaid. coach arvin got it into my head and its been there for three days now.

CURRENT

Current mood: uh. rather blank really
Current music: commercials
Current taste: coffee/whipped cream/fat gross
Current hair: wet, tangled, split ends, ghetto looking highlights, the typical out of hand mess basically
Current longing: a personal makeup doer
Current desktop picture:

Current hate: coffee
Current color socks: pff, i dont even remember when i wore socks last
Current under-the-bed residents: trash probably

FUTURE

Where do you want to go? awayyy
What is your career going to be? who fucking knows. probably waitress or stripper or tattoo artist.
Where are you going to live? awayyy
How many kids do you want? none. not really. one. maybe two. probably not. one.
What kind of car(s) are you going to have? whatever. something not lame.

Tue, 02 May 2006 04:30:42 GMT

dear ashley i really hope you are not gone forever yet and if you are please let me know as i am getting pretty distraught about it, so call or leave a comment or write a letter or send a telegram please

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 23:09:01 GMT

Напиши еще?
?

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 23:32:00 GMT

ALL I WANT ARE SOME BIG MONSTER ACRYLICS AIRBRUSHED WITH SOMETHIN' FANCY

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 01:50:06 GMT

http://kevan.org/johari?name=mollyyy
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=mollyyy

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 05:08:32 GMT

HOLY FUCKING SHIT
my back hurts

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 06:56:34 GMT

I'M BACK ON AND LOOKIN FOR SOME ACTION
(http://myspace.com/socketset)

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 00:10:04 GMT

http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/braviaextcommhigh.html

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 04:02:32 GMT

MITTENS WITH FACES

(red, of course)

light up globe

to be added to another day.

EDIT:

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 23:43:31 GMT

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 03:59:49 GMT

i hate lots of things.
but i really do love the weather and netflix.

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 13:27:15 GMT

ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn
ashhhhaleeyyyy happy birthday baby baby eighteenn

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 02:54:12 GMT

pshh.
i cant believe they cancelled homecoming for this HURRICANE EHH JUST KIDDING alarm.
i mean really, everyone is bumper to bumper not MOVING on I35 trying to get to safety in direct line of the storm.
GEEZ.

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 23:21:08 GMT

rita's acoming.
getting ready to get the hell outa dodge.
i'll be in san an to wait it out, give a call.
THA FUCKERS A FIVE.
RUN PARA SU VIDA.

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 17:26:08 GMT

only two shows left
godspell
tonight at 8, tomorrow at 2
harbor playhouse
5 dolla con student id

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 06:22:47 GMT

THIS SHIT IS OFF THE HOOK.

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 21:50:28 GMT

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 19:32:36 GMT

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 03:41:22 GMT

SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO KEEP MY EYES FROM HURTING WITH FIREY CONTACT PAIN FOR LIKE THE PAST TWO YEARS ALWAYS

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 04:06:43 GMT

happy birthday maggggieieie.